phase one: operation save my life

(written on 12/8/07)

so, i moved in with the folks. there is only one word: stifling.

i wish i could take a picture of myself ... smoking cigarettes out of the window. the window looks out on a little umm alley and it's so cramped brooklyn quarters ... apartment buildings half a foot apart ya mean?

i wish i could turn into a bird and fly ... anywhere.

i wish i could find some money on the street ... and move ... anywhere.

i wish i could at least have room to pull my easel and my yoga mat out ... it's one at a time. no, i never did paint while doing yoga at the same time.

i wish my parents would smoke fags (british word for cigarettes that i love) with me!

my mom did do that shot of patron ....

they cool enough. i guess.

it just feels like day 5 of a prison term i already served ... in high school.

but i'm going to become (not there yet) an inspiration for all grown adults who live at home with their parents. i am actually thankful that i at least have a roof over my head. thankful that they ignore me smoking cigarettes out the window. thankful that i have a bed. thankful that i have heat. thankful that they have room enough for my daughter! that's a biggie ... and that she has a bed even though she has taken to sleeping on the floor ...

i am immersing myself in gratitude. cuz then i don't notice so much that i have become the unofficial dishwasher.